We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
