So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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