why didn't you poke me back
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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