Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
