My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
