She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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