ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
