I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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