STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
