Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize