I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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