Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
