"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
