I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
