When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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