I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize