It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We don't watch enough power rangers
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
