Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
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