I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
