I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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