You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we're so committed to being not committed
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