i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
