I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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