Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
