brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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