okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
