I feel great
I just peed on a car
can u get pink eye on your cock?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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