my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
