By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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