If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
