If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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