its not stalking. its research.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
