I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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