alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
