So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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