At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
