i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
