I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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