He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
