well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
cat food counts as protein by the way
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
