Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
