I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
