when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
