White coat. Heels.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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