Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize