she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
