At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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