hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize