just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
