Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
not ubering you a puppy
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