Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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