I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize