I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
