Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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