i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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