i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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