I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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