ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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