I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
