I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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