We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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