Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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