fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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