I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
