I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
