Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
